bukan senang

assalamualaikum semua.

hari ni aku nk kongsi dgn korang sume ttg 'bukan senang'..
u know what's that mean.. ?
first of all, i want to say it's not easy to be my friend. although i'm such a friendly person BUT..
remember that word..'BUT'..

just like me and TNIG, atiqah ahmad kamal and 4SC2 buddy.. senang citer u all sume kwn i..

ok la, mungkin u all x fhm apa isi penting dlm entry hari ini.. ok, i terus trang je. i nak kongsi something about hipokrit.

tahun lepas, i menerima satu pelawaan ( more like request) from someone.. and someone tu adalah tamil. he asked me to be his bestfriend. u know, without thinking any longer (just like fastest train in CHINA, i approved his request).. maybe for that time i feel, 'yeah, mungkin dia boleh jadi kwn baik lelaki kot'.. so i terima la..
semakin lama dia jadi 'bestfriend' i.. i rasa x bebas n x selamat. wanna know why ?
sbb dia adalah lelaki pertama yg buat mcm tu dekat i. dia ikut je mana i pergi.. library, canteen.. and always wait for me. so i rasa kekok. if u r in my shoes (except u jenis yg sosial, x kisah bout everything, i hope u stop read my post) .. ok, if you are in my shoes maybe you'll rasa apa yg i rasa.

rimas, bosan, terkongkong..even my parents pun x buat mcm tu kat sekolah. kat luar sekolah like shopping mall, restaurant and so on .. of cause la every parents need to watch their children. sape la x sayang anak right ?

and i ni pulak jenis yg pendam rasa, jenis yg diam.. except i cerita kat kwn yg rapat in my life like hafizah. (i want to apologise to my TNIG.. x bermaksud korang x penting in my life.. u all is very important ok.. without TNIG buddy maybe i can't fight all the problem that comes to my life.. cuma hafizah tahu everything. she always here when i need someone to talk. i x nak kacau raisya, ayuni, aina, wani n ana.. takut korang busy study.. who know..? i'm sorry. i know maybe tindakan i ni.. tindakan yg bodoh sbb fikir mcm tu.. that's why i apologise. really sorry. i love TNIG. and always remember that.)

sejak tu, i langgar prinsip hidup i bahawa yang i x kan jadi hipokrit, sbb i benci sifat hipokrit. tanpa i sedar.. selama ni i pun hipokrit. hipokrit dlm persahabatan i dgn tamil. u know, depan tamil.. i buat mcm bestfriend dia.. but actually it's nothing than a LIER. hmmm.. yeah i know.. mungkin sape yg baca post ni, terus anggap i ni .. 'T E R U K', and maybe some of you will say this, ' OMG, TAK SANGKA AKU, AIMAN MCM NI..BLOODYHELL BETUL DIA NI'.. who know.. ?

then, i terus jadi hipokrit sampai tahun 2010. tahun 2010 penuh dengan mcm2 adegan dunia. i x dpt 8A in PMR.. kira gagal penuhi impian my parents. perh, what hurt the most is.. i da dissapointed my parents.

awal tahun 2010, tamil asked me.. dia ckp nk jumpa.. and i set la hari. hari jumaat lepas abis waktu sekolah. and after that.. i minta kebenaran ibu i utk jumpa dia kat sekolah after abis waktu sekolah.. ibu i x bg, so dad also.. i da cuba explain kan yg dia tu cuma kwn. nk jumpa i bukan buat apa2 pun.. just talk. but they never give me any green light. so i cancel my meeting with tamil. dan disebabkan i ni anak yg x boleh kena marah sikit pun.. i x bercakap ngan ibu i 3 hari.. my dad bg nasihat, nanti x cium bau syurga if gado dgn ibu. after one week, i mnx maaf kat ibu n abah i. honest and true. i x sanggup lagi tanggung akibat lawan ckp ibu. cukup skali ALLAH bg i sakit kepala yg teramat sakit. sakit yg x boleh ditanggung. so, betul juga cakap my parents. hmm, kalo la i lawan ckp parents i masa hari jumaat tu, maybe something bad will happen. mum, dad, i love u so much.

remember my friends, family first ok! don't be rude with your parents. do not ever do that.

sejak peristiwa tu, i decide utk menjauhkan diri drpd tamil. my brother x bg i kwn rapat dgn dia. ok. i'll do it.

ok, satu hari tu.. petang la lepas i bertugas kat library, i hang out kejap dgn azahar n tamil.. and that time my good friend, hafizah x de.. owh, that time i think i'll be dead sbb masa tu la, i decide utk berterus terang dgn tamil.
so, i citer but not everything kat dia.. why itu, why ini.. and everything. i hope dia fhm.

and in this month, i dah putuskan persahabatan dgn dia. sbb, i x nak jadi hipokrit. i x nak susah kan dia. i da x nak ada apa2 hubungan even as a friend dgn dia. so, next year untill forever, i da x kenal lg sape tamil. THE END.

hmm, maybe sampai sini dulu i kongsi kisah i.

and up to you all la nk ckp apa kat i after this.. i x kisah. and remember my entry today.. 'BUKAN SENANG'.. remember that.

ok, assalamualaikum.